I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
