I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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