you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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