Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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