Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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