We're facebook friends in real life
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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