Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
