so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
