So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
