You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
