just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize