i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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