if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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