New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
