she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
