Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's shark week go big or go home
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize