And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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