I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Boobs are out for the taking
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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