I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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