Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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