yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
