Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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