Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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