I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
