I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
