wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
