I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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