i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
