NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
