is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
