I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize