I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
