i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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