Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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