i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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