If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
