Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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