please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Someone came in the potted fern
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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