how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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