Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
