What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
