you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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