I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize