Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
