i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
