The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
