I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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