Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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