Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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