i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
