I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
