It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
