You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
