Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
