My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize