WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
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