Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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