dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize