You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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