I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
