Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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