dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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