**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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