Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i out mim tonsoeep
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
