It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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