i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
