He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
