When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
