I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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