so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
