we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
