Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
