We're facebook friends in real life
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
